Exclusive: Shibani Bedi on dealing with trolls, her latest project Thank You For Coming and more

Shibani Bedi, who started her journey as a content creator and later ventured into the world of showbiz, recently starred as Tina Das in Thank You For Coming, alongside Bhumi Pednekar, Shehnaaz Gill, Dolly Singh and Kusha Kapila. As the film released in theatres across the nation, the actress exclusively spoke to WION about the Karan Boolani directorial, her past projects, navigating through trolling and negativity in the digital age, and much more. Read on!

Your latest project, Thank You For Coming, is garnering a lot of attention. What inspired you to take on this particular role?

Shibani - When they were telling me a summary of what the story is, and what it stands for, I felt like what enticed me and what got me super excited is that for the first time in my life, as a woman in my 30s, single, independent, it made me feel seen. It felt like, yay, representation finally, you know? Because the women in this story are not ideal. The women who've written this story, the women who've produced this story, don't glorify any ideals. They just want to bring a dose of their own lived experiences in reality and the mess that they've created or dealt with or outgrown to the forefront, which just made it very relatable. I feel like every character that the story has represents some part of our lived experience as women at different stages of our life or, you know, different conflicts that we deal with on the regular, which I think was very, very gratifying and made me say yes to the project. The story was very enticing to me. And then when we got down to shooting and observing every character, bring a body and soul to it. Yeah, it just was a beautiful coming together of, you know, the vision one had when one was reading the script and then what one saw translating on the screen.

You've had the opportunity to work with many talented individuals in your field. Is there a particular co-star who has left a lasting impression on you?

Shibani - Oh, I feel like every costar I've had the opportunity to work with has left me with something. And it doesn't always have to be something very direct or personal. Sometimes I feel like just observing people do justice to the craft or the responsibility that is given to them is also inspiring. I also feel like, unfortunately for me, you know, regardless of whatever projects I've been a part of, I haven't had the privilege of spending a lot of time with my co-stars. I feel like, did this one movie, the first, you know, a short film I did was with Vinay Pathak. And I think that was probably one of my first experiences working with an actor who I've, you know, been so inspired by or looked up to, and then to play a character, his wife in a short film that was called Dark Brew, seeing his work ethic, the way he brought his humility and his skill set to the table, like, you know, it was truly inspiring.

Coming to Thank You For Coming, the warmth, and inclusivity that every big actor, big name showed on the set was inspiring, including Sonam Kapoor, Karan, Bhumi, Shehnaaz, Kusha and everyone. It just made it so much easier to navigate the whole process from start to finish because of the inclusivity, warmth, kindness, generosity and clarity. Yeah, that everybody brought to the table. 

Social media has changed the way celebrities interact with their fans. How do you balance your public persona on social media with your personal life and privacy?

Shibani -  I feel like I can't get away with having a meltdown in public. I realised that much sooner in my journey, I feel like once the fame and popularity started rolling in through social media, I realised that I couldn't be emotionally agitated in public spaces when there are people around because I would get messages, you know, telling me how sh**ty a person I am because, you know, you are not being whatever cooperate, diplomatic. Yeah. You know, like I remember this one incident. I remember I was at a chai shop. It was a retail chain or something. Okay. And the servers there were being obnoxious. And so after a point, I lost my calm in public. And, I was not in the best emotional, or mental state. And then there was a lot of resistance I was getting from them and they weren't listening to me. And they constantly kept screwing up with my order. And after a point, I, you know, did a bad angry customer thing, and there were people around who were watching. I saw the servers laughing also. I think they were enjoying me making a joke of myself. So, okay, no offence to them, but I think one of the customers in line who observed my public meltdown messaged me on Instagram, You know, you are a bit**y person, etc etc. And I was like, firstly, I mean, I chose to respond to her saying that firstly, I don't owe it to you to be held together. I'm also human. But yeah. Okay, cool. Sorry. I mean, to each his own, to each their own anyway. But yeah, I feel like I am a little cognizant of the fact that I can't always be a hot mess. I can't fall apart like I could when I was younger or when I had no recognition. Yeah. So I'm still working on navigating slowly and steadily, taking baby steps.

Also read: One month of Jawan: A look back at Shah Rukh Khan's film blockbuster success

How do you handle criticism or negative comments in the age of online social media? Do you have any strategies for staying focused on the positive aspects of your career?

Shibani - I do feel like, you know, as human beings, we always, um, levitate faster towards negativity as opposed to positivity. And I think it's taken some effort to understand that while there will be ten negative comments, there are also some 100 really supportive, cheerful, encouraging comments. And I feel like my cheerleaders outnumber the trolls. So over time through practice, essentially, and maybe being more aware of the fact that, you know, you have to somewhere focus on the encouragement, you can overcome a lot of trolling. And we must understand that when you challenge the world, the world will challenge you back. And sometimes it will not be what you want to hear. You also need to keep your focus on the commentary or the criticism which supports you and encourages you. You have to also take your cheerleaders with you everywhere you go in your head. Yeah, and ideally you should maybe as a public figure, try conditioning your voice to the sound of the cheers sometimes as opposed to the sound of the trolls, because a lot of the trolling is very inappropriate and it's not healthy. A lot of the critique that you get online isn't constructive criticism. It's just them trashing you for existing. Yeah, like I get shamed a lot. Body shamed a lot. Sometimes, you know, depending on the clothes you wear, you get slut shamed a lot. Everybody's trying to rip you apart on things that honestly you are not. These are things that don't define your achievements or who you are as a person. They go low blow. So if you start focusing on that, it's a downward spiral and it's not even helpful.

Many of your fans admire your fashion sense and style. How would you describe your personal fashion philosophy, and do you have any fashion icons who inspire you?

Shibani - Honestly, I don't have a fashion sense per se. I am more like, just give me something that flatters my body type and is comfortable. So I am a comfort, chic kind of gal. Through the course of working with Rhea Kapoor and her team, I have discovered multiple styles which have an aesthetic that I feel like, Damn, they really made me sort of want to reinvent and invest or just take more risks with my body. I feel like we get complacent with one style and then we stick to it. I'm that person. So I feel like this project at least has helped me break out of that comfort zone. Um, but yeah, otherwise I don't really have an aesthetic I stick to. I think I just go by the philosophy that clothes are supposed to fit you. You're not supposed to fit your clothes. Also flattering, you know, things that flatter your body type always work. So one needs to focus on that and something that can just ring true to your personality without making you try too hard to carry it.  

Do you have any skincare tips or tricks that you would like to share?

Shibani -  I'm a firm believer of the notion that you need to leave your skin alone. Also, I feel like I'm not the best person to answer this question because I feel like I'm genetically a little blessed. I've had a very non-problematic skin growing up. I have moments of having acne flare-ups, but those are like one pimple here or there because of maybe lack of sleep or just, you know, not eating right or lack of hydration or stress. But apart from that, I think I do cleanse, maybe add some serum or tone and moisturise. Also, my skin gets dry a lot. So I make sure that I keep my body and my skin hydrated as much as possible. And then I also thank my parents for finding each other. And both of them are genetically blessed with decent non-problematic skin. So their product has been deriving a lot of benefits from that. 

Finally, can you share a fun or interesting behind-the-scenes story or anecdote from your career that you haven't had the chance to talk about before?

Shibani - There was this one time during the shoot that I had to say one line after a pause but I took like 20 takes. And I feel like the other funny stories were mostly about my feet and Bhumi's clothes. Everywhere Bhumi went with her gowns and trails, my feet followed. I kept stepping on the trail of her gowns even when I was like 20 feet away. So much so that it became a running joke in the group.

Thank You For Coming is currently running in theatres near you.

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