What do women want? A 10-point guide for all men out there

"The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my 30 years of research into the feminine soul is, 'What does a woman want?' " Sigmund Freud had once famously said in his letter to Princess Marie Bonaparte. 

The question still remains unanswered and debated and somewhere lost in the hubbub of gender discussions. However elusive the nature of the question may appear, the answer was never as incomprehensible as it appeared to the world. Open the hidden nods of your day-to-day life, and you may find the answers there – the anger, discomfort, hopelessness and failed expectations expressed in the words and gestures of women around us. 

It is difficult to list out the 10 major things that women want in a world where they lack respect, space, independence, freedom of thought, expression and ideation. 

However, here's a 10-point guideline for all men to understand what women really want (apart from the basics). 

1. Mr Know It All

One of the greatest myths in this world is that men know it all – from understanding sports to discussing politics, managing finance, planning trips, and even changing car tyres. It is high time that society understands and remembers that women also keep a good knowledge of these things and perhaps at times, better knowledge!

2. Sharing the burden

In today's world, it is common for women to have career aspirations as well as family and children to take care of. When a woman gives birth to a child, taking care of the infant 24 hours a day does not become her sole responsibility. The burden needs to be shared by men and women must not be compelled or put under unsaid pressure to take career breaks.

3. Setting the right narrative

It has become a common practice to appreciate men for similar things women are looked down upon for. A man working till late would be called someone "providing for his family" whereas a woman will be termed a "workaholic". A man dropping a child at daycare is considered "helpful", but if a woman does the same, it is considered her job.

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4. Women "have" sexual needs

Women are judged if they openly talk about their sexual needs or their sexual preferences even in their closed groups. It is imperative to talk about women's sexual needs and understand them. This will be the baby step towards women's sexual liberation.

5. Compliments that no one wants

It has become a norm to give compliments like – 'Beauty with brains', 'You haven't aged at all', 'You are pretty for a dark-skinned girl', and 'You are a good driver, for a girl'. Well, it may seem like a compliment to a man, but for a woman, it is disrespectful and insulting remarks hidden in disguise.

6. Why an all-boys club at the C-suite level?

Representation matters. Having an all-boys club at C-suite levels indicates a lack of representation in the company. In the workplace, blatant sexism by not giving equal opportunities to married women exists. Interestingly, a man’s marital status has zero effects on his job prospects.

7. No health insurance to cover women's reproductive healthcare?

There is a need to provide health insurance that covers reproductive healthcare for women and not just cold and flu. Interestingly, lot of insurance companies still do not consider reproductive healthcare as necessary to be ‘covered’ under their regular plans which directly denies women of their basic rights.

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8. No sexist humour at work

Google "sexist casual jokes at the workplace" and you will find articles that tell women how to respond to or deal with sexist jokes or remarks at the workplace. This is how prevalent the situation has been. Sexist remarks and wife jokes are definitely not what women want in the workplace.

9. Being a woman is not a disability. They don't need crutches.

Men believe that it is their birthright to protect women, spend on them and keep a watch on them. Women are strong enough to take care of themselves. Their independence and space should be respected and men should stop acting like crutches.

10. Stop celebrating Women's Day

Women – the birth giver, the housemaker, the workplace leaders – need to be serenaded all through the year. A single day in a year just won't suffice!

(Disclaimer: The views of the writer do not represent the views of WION or ZMCL. Nor does WION or ZMCL endorse the views of the writer.)

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